Am I normal if I am hypersensitive?????

is it ok?????

Since childhood, sensitivity has been my issue which made me suffer immensely. Earlier ,I was not able to diagnose my problem. I just noticed that there is something in my personality which keeps me disturbed and low as compared to others. Once a though entered my mind- was capable enough to stay there for a long period of time.

I was only 3 years old and I still remember that my one of the old relatives said something to me regarding my parents and I still remember the exact words “they have given birth to five insane daughters( though we were totally sane)and feel proud as if they are sons". I kept on thinking about it and still I can recall that incident with all minute details. Even that time I knew that people in my surrounding would have looked at me for this insult. This is just a glimpse of what I could have felt that time when people don’t have much sense of emotions and feelings. with the passage of time, people started mocking me for my sensitivity; tears in my eyes while watching tragic drama or film , reading any such stories in books or digests, or listening to such incidents could bring me to tears for many days. I felt it was not normal for many others in my surroundings.

At school, college or university, I never raised my hand even when I knew the answer. The reason was simple in my viewpoint. If the teacher was polite I would answer and if not I had to keep everything to myself to avoid possible insult. The one taunting sentence of any person either teacher or a fellow student could deprive me of sleep for days and even weeks or so. That has been my reason to stay silent and back bencher through out my educational career. My result used to surprise people though. I always scored good marks in exams.

Another unfortunate aspect was-All girls and boys in my surroundings were smart and sensible and I used to be dumb and deaf to understand their behavior . Anybody could make me fool and I was not able to realize it even. My hypersensitive nature left me dumb and deaf too.

Even when I started my professional career and married life, I was still the same. Once a person said something to me, I could think over for hours and hours and that person might not even realize what he had done to me.

To cut a long story short, Any result was a matter of life and death to me, any party or get together was so crucial to me, always so overwhelmed with my thought patterns and people’s comments. There was also another overwhelming feeling which never left me alone- ‘when people praise me, there is no one around but when I am insulted, there is a huge crowd! This was what I always felt!!!’

But now I have changed my thought patterns in the following way: may be they can help any others who feel like me though I am sure there would not be many as crazy as used to be(if you are- please share your viewpoint )

people can say anything our of fear, anger, jealousy, or insecurity but that is not my problem and theirs.

people can blame you for drawbacks and weaknesses of their own personalities to gain self satisfaction and prove themselves better than you. but that's not again your but their problem.

Though now I claim that I can control my self but my inner nature disturbs me too much at times. I feel I am the only one who has the potential to be affected by others. Or are there any others who are like me? Or there will be so many to consider me crazy.